Movie Tagline: Skate or Die
Gleaming the Cube is, I'm guessing, not a very well known movie. Featuring Christian Slater as a no-good skater punk who ends up exposing a gun smuggling ring with his sick skating moves and uncanny detective abilities, it is most definitely not a hidden gem. The plot is ridiculous, of course, and some of the stunts are equally unbelievable, but if you are into 80s movies (for the sake of nostalgia or ridicule), you will find plenty to enjoy about this movie. Even the title is goofy and made up. That link shows some movie listings and reviews from a newspaper in 1989 that are pretty entertaining in their own right. Die Hard received four stars, of course, but good old Dead Ringers, which we at Cinemarone have already paired, did not fare as well, garnering only one-and-a-half stars. Apparently the film critic for The Spokesman-Review back then wasn't into movies featuring phantasmagoric gynecological equipment. Also playing in January of 1989: Alien Nation, Child's Play, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Land Before Time, Rain Man, Scrooged, and Twins. Anyway, Gleaming the Cube is clearly not the best movie about skateboarding, even if it does feature Tony Hawk and Tommy Guerrero. If you are looking for a good movie on the subject, I would recommend either Lords of Dogtown or the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys. But it is an entertaining popcorn movie that doesn't take itself very seriously, which is a staple of these kinds of 80s movies. It isn't out to reinvent movies; it just wants to show you how one might change the world through skateboarding. Simple. Send Help, from 4 Hands, is also not interested in reinventing things. Made in collaboration with Send Help Skateboards, this beer is a crushable, dry-hopped blonde ale that doesn't try too hard to be anything more than that. Not everything has to be a Heady Topper or a Good Morning. Send Help is more concerned with being consumed in bulk while having a good times outdoors. Crisp and clean, light and refreshing, this is what a blonde ale should be. But this one has the added bonus of a subtle yet full flavored hoppiness that elevates it above the others. Sometimes the simplest pleasures are the most rewarding. I believe that's what they call "gleaming the cube".
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Movie Tagline: There's one in every family
I don't think anyone will argue when I say that Black Sheep is not Chris Farley's best movie. It's awkward, and not always in a funny way. It's also really dumb, but that's not a big shock, either. But it also keeps trying to shoehorn in some sappy sentimentality, which is not only unearned but also pointless and clumsy. Tommy Boy it ain't. At least in that one there was some genuine, earned emotional catharsis in between all the stupid gags and fat jokes. It was a dumb movie with enough heart to make it transcend its own juvenile spirit. Black Sheep tries for the same thing and doesn't quite pull it off. Maybe it's the supporting cast, which substitutes Tim Matheson for Brian Dennehy, Christine Ebersole for Bo Derek, and Gary Busey for Rob Lowe. Or, hey, maybe it's just not a very good movie, and that's it. It may sound like I don't like Black Sheep, but it's one of those movies I saw as a kid that I continue to enjoy despite its shortcomings. I know it's a bad movie, but it's still entertaining. Gary Busey's crazy schtick is funny, and David Spade hadn't quite reached the levels of self-parody we get from him these days. And, more than anything else, it's still a Chris Farley movie. Farley was more than capable of selling a premise as stupid as this one. He could elevate the worst of material with raw talent and sheer enthusiasm. And, even though it's not her best work, either, director Penelope Spheeris (Wayne's World, The Decline of Western Civilization I-III) is somehow able to make this movie seem better than it actually is. Along those same lines, Baba Black Lager is not the best Uinta beer out there. They have plenty of other beers that blow this one out of the water. But it's still good enough to seek out. It is smooth and robust, with enough roasty malt character to boost the light body of the lager and make it a thoroughly satisfying black lager. It works well with Black Sheep because of the name, of course, but it works on a deeper level, too. Black lagers, or schwarzbiers, are an outlier as far as German beer styles are concerned in that they share a lot of flavor components with stouts and porters, which are ales (and, as such, are not beers associated with Germany in the least). They are light-bodied like other lagers, but the similarities pretty much end there. So, they are in the lager family, but they don't really fit in there. They are the black sheep of lagers. Baa baa. Get it? Have I run that idea into the ground thoroughly enough? Good. Maybe I can get a gig writing comedies for David Spade. Does anyone know if Happy Madison Productions pays well enough to justify the soul-crushing experience it must be to work for them?
Movie Tagline: From the Dark Side to Our Side
Grigori Rasputin was an influential figure in Russia in the early 1900s. How much influence he exerted over Nicholas II, the last Tsar of Russia, is uncertain, but the upper class in Russia at the time were not keen on a peasant being so close to the imperial family (he was much loved by Empress Alexandra as well). Rasputin was supposedly poisoned, shot in the head, bludgeoned, shot three more times, castrated, and then drowned in a river. This was after being stabbed in the stomach two years previous. The details of his murder have been exaggerated, but only slightly (he was not castrated, and he was dead before being thrown in the river). But his brutal death has only helped to cement his status as a crazy, mystical, villainous badass. That reputation has led to Rasputin being portrayed as the antagonist in a number of movies, ranging from the animated Anastasia movie from 1997 to the film we are looking at here, Hellboy. Directed by Guillermo del Toro and starring America's Caveman, Ron Perlman, Hellboy tells the story of a demon who is raised to be a defender of Good. Working as part of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, Hellboy and his companions do battle not only with Rasputin, but also a mechanized Nazi assassin named Kroenen, a reincarnating hellhound named Sammael, and a giant, tentacled behemoth that threatens to destroy the world. It is a dark movie, but it is also full of snappy dialogue, fun action setpieces, dark comedy, and a surprising amount of heart. Speaking of heart, I absolutely love Old Rasputin. It is one of the best all-around Russian Imperial Stouts out there. Even if you aren't going to drink it while watching Hellboy, it's worth checking out for the sheer deliciousness of it. It is rich and luscious, big and bold, complex and decadent. If you are a stout drinker, you probably already know about this one. If you're not, Old Rasputin might make you change your mind about that. Like with Rasputin himself, there's something mystical in the murky depths of this oily brew. And, like our pal Hellboy, it's not evil, it just looks like it might be.
Movie Tagline: NONE
Band of Outsiders, or Bande à part, is a French New Wave film starring iconic actress and Godard muse Anna Karina as Odile, a language student who gets pulled into a robbery plot by two men, Franz and Arthur. It doesn't have much as far as plot goes, but what makes this and most other New Wave films stand out is not plot but style. Godard's characters are just so cool. It doesn't matter what they are doing, they make it look good. That's one of the reasons why Band of Outsiders is one of Jean-Luc Godard's most accessible films, and why many have even called it his best. This claim of being the best Godard film is what makes it such a good movie to pair with Apotheosis, a French Saison from the Urban Chestnut Brewing Company. The word "apotheosis" is defined as the highest point in the development of something. It is a culmination, and as such it perfectly describes how many feel about Band of Outsiders. It is the perfect example of French New Wave Cinema. From the race through the Louvre, to the "Madison dance" scene, to a minute of silence where even the soundtrack drops out, the movie exhibits such an effortless style that it is absolutely irresistible. Apotheosis is a somewhat atypical beer coming from Urban Chestnut. They split their beers into two main categories: Reverence Series and Revolution Series. Reverence for Old World styles and Revolution for modern craft styles. Apotheosis is a Reverence beer, naturally, but whereas most Reverence beers are German-style beers (Zwickel, Schnickelfritz, Schlossturm, Oachkatzlschwoaf), this one is a French-style beer. Highly carbonated, with a pleasantly fruity, spicy aroma and taste, this saison boasts a nice dry finish to tempt you into another drink. Apotheosis, I think it is safe to say, is not the best example of a saison out there. It is very tasty, but there are other, better ones to try. The same could very easily be said about Band of Outsiders. It may be the favorite of many people, but there are other Godard movies to check out as well. Don't limit yourself to just one. The fun lies in trying lots of different saisons, in watching a handful of French New Wave films, and seeing which ones speak to you personally. |
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