Movie Tagline: Man has made his match... Now it's his problem
Last time we promised to start pairing better movies. Whether you think we have succeeded or not largely depends on how you feel about grim, ambiguous, future-noir stories. While anyone who thinks Blade Runner is a worse movie than Double Team is clearly insane, there are a lot of people who seem to have an intense distaste for Ridley Scott's groundbreaking science fiction tale. It is probably a case of a movie getting so much positive attention that some kind of backlash is inevitable. Blade Runner was once voted the best science fiction film ever by a group of eminent scientists, after all. And when scientists like your science fiction movie, you know you're doing something right. They really are a fastidious group. What makes Blade Runner such a good movie is a combination of weighty philosophical questions coupled with its stunning visuals. The world that Deckard (Harrison Ford) leads us through is lived in. It is not slick or shiny, like so many other futuristic movies. Things here have a purpose. They have been used. You don't feel like you are peeking in on a different society; you feel like this is our world, in the future. And, in the future, things are just as screwed up as they are now. Replicants are self-aware android slaves with genetically shortened lifespans. "Blade Runners" are essentially bounty hunters tasked with killing, or "retiring", these replicants. It is always dark and rainy, even in Los Angeles. This darkness lends the story a noirish vibe, complete with a cynical protagonist, a femme fatale, and an overwhelming sense of fatalism. It's a lot of fun. When watching such a heavy movie, you might feel compelled to go with a heavy beer. Something dark and complex to match the mood of the movie. Like a Parabola, or a Narwhal. But that would be overkill. Blade Runner is not a fast-paced thrill ride; it is brooding and methodical. If you drink a 12% beer while watching it you are liable to either fall asleep or get distracted and not pay attention to what is happening onscreen. No, you need something to combat the dark nature of this one. Something light and crisp, but with enough complexity to match the movie. That's why we are recommending the flagship beer from Crane Brewing out of Raytown, Missouri. A crisp, dry saison with a lot of flavor and a refreshing finish, this beer is the perfect companion to such a pessimistic movie. Really, any Crane beer would suffice, as they only make lighter styles of beer, focusing on wild yeast and tart flavors. A big part of what they do revolves around taking classic European styles and experimenting with a variety of hops, wild yeast, souring bacteria, wood-aging, spices, fruit, and specialty malt. As we've already noted, a big part of Blade Runner's legacy lies in its visual style. This is also true of Crane's labels. Deceptively simple, their labels manage to stand out in a sea of other beer labels. With big, bold shapes and crisp lines, they are the very definition of less-is-more. They have a thing for origami, too, just like Gaff (Edward James Olmos) in Blade Runner. And that's just their labels. Inside the bottle is a beauty of an entirely different kind. From the bright straw-colored Saison, to the cloudy gold Apricot Weiss, to the red-hued Beet Weiss, Crane's beers are a delight to behold. Like Ridley Scott did with film noir and science fiction in Blade Runner, Crane Brewing is taking the best parts of traditional rustic European ale styles and making them feel new again by infusing them with new ingredients and fresh ideas. They may not seem like the most logical things to pair, Blade Runner and Crane Saison, but unless you're some kind of sociopathic replicant android, we think you will be pleasantly surprised. And, hey, if you are a sociopathic replicant android, do you want to hang out sometime?
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Movie Tagline: Skate or Die
Gleaming the Cube is, I'm guessing, not a very well known movie. Featuring Christian Slater as a no-good skater punk who ends up exposing a gun smuggling ring with his sick skating moves and uncanny detective abilities, it is most definitely not a hidden gem. The plot is ridiculous, of course, and some of the stunts are equally unbelievable, but if you are into 80s movies (for the sake of nostalgia or ridicule), you will find plenty to enjoy about this movie. Even the title is goofy and made up. That link shows some movie listings and reviews from a newspaper in 1989 that are pretty entertaining in their own right. Die Hard received four stars, of course, but good old Dead Ringers, which we at Cinemarone have already paired, did not fare as well, garnering only one-and-a-half stars. Apparently the film critic for The Spokesman-Review back then wasn't into movies featuring phantasmagoric gynecological equipment. Also playing in January of 1989: Alien Nation, Child's Play, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Land Before Time, Rain Man, Scrooged, and Twins. Anyway, Gleaming the Cube is clearly not the best movie about skateboarding, even if it does feature Tony Hawk and Tommy Guerrero. If you are looking for a good movie on the subject, I would recommend either Lords of Dogtown or the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys. But it is an entertaining popcorn movie that doesn't take itself very seriously, which is a staple of these kinds of 80s movies. It isn't out to reinvent movies; it just wants to show you how one might change the world through skateboarding. Simple. Send Help, from 4 Hands, is also not interested in reinventing things. Made in collaboration with Send Help Skateboards, this beer is a crushable, dry-hopped blonde ale that doesn't try too hard to be anything more than that. Not everything has to be a Heady Topper or a Good Morning. Send Help is more concerned with being consumed in bulk while having a good times outdoors. Crisp and clean, light and refreshing, this is what a blonde ale should be. But this one has the added bonus of a subtle yet full flavored hoppiness that elevates it above the others. Sometimes the simplest pleasures are the most rewarding. I believe that's what they call "gleaming the cube".
Movie Tagline: The vacation you'll never forget -- no matter how hard you try
When you think of Jamaica, you think of Red Stripe (as far as beer goes, anyway). With their laid-back vibe and their "Hooray Beer" advertisements, the folks at Red Stripe have worked hard to indelibly link their product with thoughts of relaxing on a beach in the Caribbean. Unfortunately, the Red Stripe we drink here in the United States is not made in Jamaica. It is made in the not-so-tropical climates of La Crosse, Wisconsin and Latrobe, Pennsylvania. This isn't a bad thing (if anything, it means you get fresher beer), it just puts a slight dent in that whole island vibe Red Stripe tries to promote. It also dovetails nicely with the plot of Club Paradise, wherein a movie set on a (fictitious) Caribbean island stars such noted island dwellers as Robin Williams, Peter O'Toole, Rick Moranis, and Twiggy. Sure, it also has Jimmy Cliff, but his storyline takes a back seat to the antics of, among other things, two scrawny white guys trying (and failing) to get laid. But the point of this post is not to decry the unfairness of whitewashing in Hollywood movies. If it was, there are better, more current examples of this to choose from. Club Paradise is not the place to draw the line. The movie was such a flop that you would be hard-pressed to find many people today who even remember it. And I'm not here to tell you it's a hidden gem of 80s comedy. It's really not. It's a mess of a movie, with a dozen or so funny people failing to be funny in any discernible way. But I'll be damned if I don't find it oddly charming. Maybe it's just nostalgia, but no movie with Peter O'Toole and Robin Williams can be all bad, even if O'Toole was nominated for a Razzie because of his performance in this one. There's something about this feature-length failed SCTV skit that just does it for me. It's a similar reaction many people have to Red Stripe. They know deep down that there's nothing special about it; it's just another bland macro lager (owned by Heineken as of 2015). But drinking one takes them back to that time they vacationed in Jamaica, and all the good times they had, and all the interesting people they met, and by some strange alchemy the beer tastes better than it should. So, maybe a similar thing will happen when you pair Red Stripe with Club Paradise. Alone, they are both middling products, but together they may transcend their shortcomings and provide you with a much needed two-hour vacation. It's not Jamaica, but it's as close as some of us are ever going to get.
Movie Tagline: Nothing human loves forever
The Hunger is the debut feature of Tony Scott, brother of Ridley and noted style-over-substance director of such visually assaulting movies as Man on Fire, Domino, and Deja Vu. These are frantic movies, jittery to the point of leaving their viewers numb, with unnecessary color filters galore. But Tony Scott has kicked out some highly entertaining (if fairly mindless) movies, too. Movies like Top Gun, Days of Thunder, The Last Boy Scout, True Romance, Crimson Tide, Enemy of the State; they aren't movies that revolutionized cinema, but they all have a certain charm. Somewhere in between lies The Hunger, a super-stylized vampire tale featuring the enigmatic David Bowie, the gloomy sound of English post-punk band Bauhaus, and a steamy, infamous sex scene between Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. While Scott's penchant for over-stylization is present here, it hasn't yet reached the fever pitch that plagues his later work. Instead of color filters and quick cuts, The Hunger is full of smoke and soft focus, with waving, lacy curtains everywhere. This lends the film a dreamlike quality that suits the story well. It seems to have more subtext than your average Tony Scott movie, but that could just be due to the inherent subtext of vampire stories in general. It is also a sad meditation on everlasting life, with crushing loneliness overtaking any benefits that such a lengthy existence might offer. Deneuve's vampire mistress may be elegant and sensual on the outside, but inside she is full of consternation and a sorrow whose depth can never be fully comprehended by mere human beings. Another dark and luscious beast, Left Hand's Wake Up Dead Nitro Russian Imperial Stout is every bit as sexy as Catherine Deneuve. Part of Left Hand's Nitro Series of beers, Wake Up Dead pours a creamy pitch black. The aroma is strong and earthy, with a fantastic roasted malt smell that entices you to take a drink. The luxuriously silky mouthfeel opens up flavors of creamed coffee, dark chocolate, caramel, vanilla; it's like mainlining the secret truth of the universe. This beer satisfies you in much the same way blood satisfies a vampire. It reinvigorates, rejuvenates, and revitalizes you. But it is also a sneaky 10.2% ABV, so there's still some danger inherent in drinking it. If you're not careful, you might wake up dead, like the victim of a sexy Egyptian vampire.
Movie Tagline: Where everything seems possible and nothing is what it seems
Labyrinth is everything you could possibly hope for from a collaboration between Jim Henson, George Lucas, and David Bowie. Not only is it an epic fantasy movie with a moving story and great creature effects, but it is also dark, dangerous, and mystical. A large part of that is due to Bowie's performance. His Jareth the Goblin King is both creepy and alluring. His obsession with Sarah almost gets her and her little brother killed. Numerous times, actually. He is a force to be reckoned with here, but he makes time for a couple of musical numbers, too. He adds a little whimsy to balance out the menace. King Goblin is whimsical in its own right. A sort of beefed up version of Wychwood's Hobgoblin, King Goblin is more complex than its counterpart. It is sweeter and smoother, with a dry, slightly musty finish. And, adding to that whimsy I was talking about, King Goblin is only brewed during a full moon. That's what the bottle says, anyway. Who can say what strange magic this imparts in the beer itself? The magic of Labyrinth can be seen in every frame. The set design is intricately bonkers. The creatures are crazy and nonsensical, but they are imbued by their creators with enough personality to make you really believe in them. Especially poor Hoggle, who is the heart and soul of the movie. It is hard to get behind Sarah, who is bratty and foolish in a way only teenage girls can manage. And you can't really root for the Goblin King, as his motives are, shall we say, less than wholesome. It's really Hoggle, with his hideous features hiding a kind heart, and his betrayals of Sarah borne more out of fear than of any malice on his part, that makes up the emotional core of the movie. His journey is more notable than Sarah's, even though she comes around in the end as well and stops being so selfish. But, again, this is Bowie's show. And you can tell he's having a great time being the bad guy. He's got charisma to spare, and it just oozes off the screen whenever he's present. Labyrinth is also a great way to get your kids into his music, so long as they aren't put off by how creepy he is. King Goblin might be a great way to get your kids into beer, but I feel it would be irresponsible of me to recommend that one. Either way, it's a good pairing for consenting adults.
Movie Tagline: A comedy beyond belief
Single-Wide IPA is an early effort from Kansas City, Missouri's Boulevard Brewing Company, a brewery that has since gone on to receive international acclaim as they have cranked out new beer after new beer, the majority of which have been fantastic. The same could be said for the Coen brothers, Ethan and Joel, creators of Raising Arizona. They too have gained international acclaim as they continue to kick out fantastic films, one after another. Raising Arizona is, like Single-Wide, an early effort, one that helped to show off the talents of its creators as well as its cast. Holly Hunter, who plays Ed, went on to star in such movies as Broadcast News (1987), The Piano (1993), The Firm (1993), Copycat (1995), O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000), and The Incredibles (2004). She has worked with talented directors like Sydney Pollack, Jodie Foster, David Cronenberg, Danny Boyle, and Brad Bird. John Goodman, who plays Gale, has long been a staple of quirky movies, appearing in everything from Revenge of the Nerds (1984) to Bringing Out the Dead (1999) to Coyote Ugly (2000), although I imagine he would rather we forget that last one. And then there's Nicolas Cage, who plays H.I. McDunnough. Really, what can you say about the guy that hasn't already been said? Single-Wide is a pretty straightforward beer. It's hoppy, bitter, and not much else. There's no malt flavor to speak of, and it tastes a little soapy. It may seem strange to pair such a standard beer with Cage's absolutely bonkers performance. He is a living cartoon (in the best possible way) in Raising Arizona. His eyes bulge, his arms flail, and his accent is ludicrous. Come to think of it, everyone in the movie has a silly accent. It's like there was a competition on set to see who could ham it up the most. The only clear winner in that contest is you, the lucky viewer. Thing is, beneath all that silliness is a sly craftiness that the Coens bring to all their moviemaking endeavors. Be it No Country for Old Men (2007) or The Big Lebowski (1998), their attention to detail and their skill in the art of filmmaking is peerless. The same could be said for Boulevard. If they're making a standard IPA or a complicated barrel-aged sour like Love Child, their skill always manages to shine through. So sit back, watch some TV (either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things), and drink a Single-Wide IPA, preferably in your own single-wide mobile home somewhere in Arizona. If not in Arizona, then a land not too far away. Where all parents are strong and wise and capable and all children are happy and beloved. I don't know. Maybe in Utah.
Movie Tagline: In the future, cities will become deserts, roads will become battlefields, and the hope of mankind will appear as a stranger
It's not like San Diego bears any resemblance to the post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland depicted in The Road Warrior (not yet anyway), but the city's Green Flash Brewing Company does make a great companion beer to the 1981 sequel. Road Warrior, the beer, is said to be named for the Green Flash sales team who gets the word out on their offerings. But it is way more fun to think of it as a tribute to Max Rockatansky, the burnt out shell of a man who helps a little community of weirdos defend their stockpile of gasoline from a band of marauders led by hockey-mask-wearing Lord Humungus, also known as the Warrior of the Wasteland and the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. The movie itself is light on dialogue and heavy on action. Mel Gibson only has 16 lines in the whole film, two of them being, "I only came for the gasoline." And he's Max, the titular character! The final chase, which takes up close to 20% of the movie's runtime, rivals anything you would see today in terms of creative scene construction and visceral excitement. When you factor in the meager budget of The Road Warrior (even if it was the most expensive Australian movie production ever at the time), this is even more impressive. Speaking of impressive, the costume department in this movie must have had a blast creating these costumes. Part sporting goods surplus store, part S&M sex dungeon, these marauders certainly have a style all their own. A style whose influence can still be seen today. And it's no secret why: these guys look awesome! Vernon Wells, who plays Wez (the big guy with the red mohawk), also plays bad guy Bennett in Commando. Apparently he only plays characters that have a thing for bondage gear. More proof that The Road Warrior has everything you want in an action movie. Similarly, Road Warrior Imperial Rye IPA has everything you want in an Imperial IPA. It has a respectable ABV (9%). It has an enticing copper color. It is spicy and hoppy, both in smell and taste, with a rich bitter aftertaste that lingers pleasantly on the tongue. There's not much else that needs to be said about it. Jump in your black Interceptor and go get you some. On a related note, if you are looking for something to pair with Mad Max: Fury Road, your best bet is to drink straight Everclear while huffing chrome paint. Just put it in your face and ride to Valhalla.
Movie Tagline: Two bodies. Two minds. One soul. Separation can be a terrifying thing.
Dead Ringers is a classic David Cronenberg movie. His 80s movies, in chronological order, are Scanners, Videodrome, The Dead Zone, The Fly, and Dead Ringers. That's a killer decade of movies, and Dead Ringers is the icing on the oozing, pulsating, quivering cake. Jeremy Irons plays twin gynecologists in Dead Ringers. Elliot is the dominant one who is more confident and successful with women. When he tires of a woman, he passes her (without her knowledge) to Beverly, the weaker, more passive brother. This system of theirs works for most of their lives. They are both happy, successful (if not totally codependent) people. But when a new woman comes into their lives, she throws off the balance of the twins' relationship by falling for Beverly, not Elliot, first. Identity crises follow, as well as some of that good old Cronenberg body horror we all know and love. It is not easy pairing beers with body horror movies. Some people may not want to drink anything while watching a movie featuring "mutant women" with abnormal genitalia and the bizarre gynecological instruments needed to deal with such abnormalities. But when you have twin gynecologists, and there's a beer collaboration in existence from Evil Twin and Beavertown, you have to bring them together. For the greater good. XXX Imperial Mild may not be easy to find. Sometimes we are compelled to recommend beers that are more limited. It is a kind of Mild Ale, so it is more of a Beverly beer than an Elliot beer. But it is also strong (9.5% ABV), so it's similar to Elliot as well. Elliot is definitely the mayor of Beavertown, both professionally and socially. But we can't be certain which brother is the Evil Twin. There's always an evil twin. Just, you know, food for thought.
Movie Tagline: An all-new adventure down the yellow brick road
Return to Oz was not well received upon release, most likely because people thought it was going to be more like the MGM musical from 1939. You know the one. People wanted more singing and less Fairuza Balk. But this story is much more akin to the source material than its predecessor. The Oz of 1985 is a dark and twisted place. Walter Murch, the sequel's director, was supposedly forced to tone down the creep-factor, but what does remain is still bleak and sporadically terrifying. Unfortunately, it is also a film that cannot escape the shadow of what came before it. The same could be said for the Golden Pale Ale from the Wychwood Brewing Company known as Scarecrow. While it is a solid offering in its own right, this beer will always draw comparisons to Wychwood's Hobgoblin, a Dark English Ale that is the company's flagship beer and biggest commercial success. And, yes, when pitted against the Hobgoblin in a taste test, it will probably lose nine times out of ten. But judged on its own merits, Scarecrow is a velvety, dry English Ale that is just the right amount of malty and bitter to make it a refreshing and flavorful beer. When judging Return to Oz on its own merits, you can see that there is a lot to like in this movie. Yes, it is bleak (a doctor tries to give Dorothy Gale electroshock therapy!). And, between the Wheelers, and all of Dorothy's old friends being turned to stone, and evil Princess Mombi with her interchangeable stolen heads, it can be seen as a bit traumatizing for young kids. But for consenting adults who like to drink beer and watch twisted 80s kids movies, this one is really something special. So follow the yellow brick road down a winding trail of terror and sadness. Just don't forget to bring the beer.
Movie Tagline: The man with the hat is back. And this time, he's bringing his Dad.
Ha! Tricked you there, didn't I? You thought I was going to go with the Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I switched it up on you. Really I just didn't want to be that on-the-nose with the Monty Python flick. It seemed too easy. So I went with my second-favorite movie about questing for the Holy Grail: The Last Crusade, which is also, I would say, my second-favorite Indiana Jones movie. That tagline, however, is atrocious. The Last Crusade met with some skepticism upon its release, which is perfectly understandable after the whole Temple of Doom fiasco (although, full disclosure here: my inner eight year old still freaking loves Temple of Doom and he always will). Just so, many approach the super-gimmicky Holy Grail Ale from the Black Sheep Brewery with similar skepticism. The great part about both of them is they are both really good. Better than they have any right to be, honestly. There is a comedic sensibility that runs through both the movie and the beer. Indiana Jones has always been very tongue-in-cheek; it wouldn't work without that humor. If your movie is about a college professor battling Nazis with his elderly father and you play it straight, that's never going to fly. Just like if the Holy Grail Ale had only been a solid English Pale Ale left to survive solely on its own merits (without a single reference to burning witches), it would never have taken off like it did. It's that gimmick that has kept people buying this beer, and the fact that it is a good beer is really just an added bonus. Kind of like River Phoenix as Young Indy. Bonus Indy! |
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