Movie Tagline: The story of an American family
Trout Slayer is a filtered wheat ale from Big Sky Brewing Company in Missoula, Montana. It is straw-colored and sessionable. It is everything you want from a Montana brewery. Also, if you're ever in Missoula, the taproom at the Big Sky Brewery gives out up to four FREE SAMPLES per person daily! Not sure if you can get that deal every single day, but it's still impressive. A River Runs Through It is a Robert Redford joint, a period drama based on a semi-autobiographical novella by noted American author Norman MacLean. It centers around two sons of a Presbyterian minister and their trials and tribulations growing up in and around Missoula in the early 20th Century. This pairing is fairly self-explanatory. Both Trout Slayer and A River Runs Through It are products of Montana. Both are (naturally) about trout fishing. No trout were harmed in the making of either (verifiable as far as the movie goes; not so much where the beer is concerned). Both are good at what they do, even if what they do is seem by some to be somewhat bland and unexciting. I don't know, that's it, I guess. Not much more to add to this one. It's all pretty straightforward. Drink Big Sky Trout Slayer with a buddy and you can pretend you're a pre-fame Brad Pitt and your buddy is that guy from Nightbreed (1990).* * Watch Nightbreed while drinking a New Holland Night Tripper. Bonus pairing!
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Movie Tagline: At the edge of the world, his journey begins
Cast Away is the story of a FedEx executive who must learn how to survive in absolute solitude after a plane crash leaves him stranded on a deserted island. It is essentially Tom Hanks talking to inanimate objects for two hours, and somehow that is thoroughly entertaining. This is another movie with some options as far as pairings go, both from the Kona Brewing Company out of Hawaii. One is super obvious, but the other one is much more fitting. Clearly you pair Cast Away the movie with Castaway IPA. That's a no-brainer if there ever was one. But I feel the Koko Brown, a brown ale brewed with real toasted coconut, is a better fit as far as flavor and relevance to the actual substance of the film go. Tom Hanks survives on coconuts for a large section of the movie, before he becomes capable of finding other things to eat. And it takes him quite a while to figure out how to crack the husk of a coconut. In fact, a good chunk of this movie is coconut related. How many movies or TV shows can you say that about? So you can kick back for a couple of hours and enjoy the toasted coconut goodness of a Koko Brown (or the crisp, citrusy goodness of a Castaway IPA) while you watch one of the world's most beloved movie stars as he struggles to maintain his sanity and survive on a deserted island with nothing but sporting goods to keep him company. And isn't that all any of us wants, really? I think so, too.
Movie Tagline: A world of wonders in one great picture
You may be asking yourself why I have chosen the old cartoon version of Lewis Carroll's masterpiece of literary nonsense to pair with Mad Hatter IPA instead of the 2010 Johnny Depp version. After all, the beer was recently reconfigured to appeal to today's hop-hungry beer drinkers, so why not pair it with another recently-reimagined classic? The answer is quite simple: Mad Hatter is a good beer, so why would you want to pair it with such a bad movie? If Mad Hatter were brewed with, say, cat urine instead of water, or dirty pine cones instead of hops, then maybe it would be bad enough to pair with Tim Burton's laborious, soul-sucking clustercuss of a film. Anyway, rant over. Obviously you should pair Alice with Mad Hatter IPA because of the Mad Hatter. It's not too hard to figure that one out (unless you're a Tweedle-dumbass). If you're feeling especially adventurous, you can maybe smoke opium for the Caterpillar bit. You can do some speed with the White Rabbit. There are mushrooms that make strange things happen to Alice; you can get in on that, too. That Cheshire Cat seems to be on nitrous oxide with all of his laughing fits. The Flowers have definitely got some MDMA in their systems. The Dormouse is a total stoner. And everyone at that freaky tea party is high as a kite on cocaine. You get the picture. Maybe your best bet is to simply drink some tasty Michigan beer and let the movie's craziness wash over you. Don't mess with all that other nonsense. Leave the hard stuff to the professionals. They know what they are doing. Mad Hatter IPA. That's all you need.
Movie Tagline: It’s a strange world
Blue Velvet is David Lynch's surreal descent into the dark underbelly of small-town America. It is raw and voyeuristic, like something out of a nightmare. But that doesn't mean you can't have a beer and enjoy it. And depending on which end of the BDSM spectrum you fall on, this movie has some options for you: Do you like to be in control? Do you like to physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, and/or spiritually torture other human beings? Do you like Roy Orbison? Then Pabst Blue Ribbon is the one for you. Drink it with some buddies as you go on a joyride through the psychosexual hellscape that is your hometown. Do you like to watch? Is it even better if the person doesn't know they are being watched? Do you ever get the feeling that you've gone too far? That you're in too deep to ever get out without being fundamentally changed as a person? Heineken it is. Are you a garbage person who doesn't deserve to make decisions for yourself? Are you filthy and disgusting, with nothing to offer the rest of society? Has someone ever put their disease in you? Then you don't get to drink anything. Now go get me a bourbon, and don't you fucking look at me!
Movie Tagline: Every man dies, not every man really lives
The Claymore is the Scottish variant of the medieval two-handed longsword. It is the weapon of choice for Mel Gibson's William Wallace in the movie Braveheart. It is also the name of a deliciously dark and roasty Wee Heavy Scotch Ale from our friends at the Great Divide Brewing Company in beautiful Denver, Colorado. The beer, like the sword, is a two-hander. It is also, like Braveheart, dark and epic. While the brewery itself is not Scottish, the Claymore will evoke a Scotsman's pride as readily as Mel Gibson (also not Scottish) wearing a kilt and giving an inspirational speech about "OUR FREEDOM!!!" The only problem one might run into with this pairing is that the beer is 7.7% alcohol by volume, while Braveheart is two minutes shy of three hours long. And while the movie is regularly exhilarating, it is also a bit of a downer. Terrible things happen to our bekilted protagonist and to those closest to him. However, with that protagonist being played by noted racist and crazy person Mel Gibson, his suffering will most likely be somewhat mitigated in your eyes. Dark and roasty. Violent and thrilling. Earthy, but clean. Inspiring, but historically inaccurate. Heavy, but smooth. Smoky and slightly sweet. Hints of tobacco and caramel. Are we describing the beer or the movie? Maybe both. After spending three hours enjoying them in tandem, they will be inexorably linked forever in your mind. |
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