Movie Tagline: There are no clean getaways
No Country for Old Men, adapted from a novel by Cormac McCarthy, won the Academy Award for Best Picture. That's usually not a great way to measure how good a movie is, but in this case it is no small feat considering the tidal wave of amazing movies that were released in 2007. Namely: There Will Be Blood, Zodiac, Michael Clayton, Juno, Gone Baby Gone, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Into the Wild, Atonement, Eastern Promises, My Winnipeg, Hot Fuzz, Lars and the Real Girl, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Taxi to the Dark Side, American Gangster, Grindhouse, Persepolis, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, The Orphanage, La Vie en Rose, Ratatouille, Rescue Dawn, Knocked Up, Sunshine, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and I'm Not There. That's nearly 30 movies that could (and in many cases, did) define a person's career. They are all outstanding movies from such renowned directors as Paul Thomas Anderson, David Fincher, Ridley Scott, David Cronenberg, Ben Affleck, Julian Schnabel, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Guy Maddin, Judd Apatow, Todd Haynes, Danny Boyle, Jason Reitman, Edgar Wright, Werner Herzog, and Sidney Lumet. So, to say that the Coen Brothers made the best movie of the year (according to whatever old white dudes choose who gets to win things like that) is, in this case, a staggering achievement. But, anyway, that's just a tangent about how awesome 2007 was for movie fans. To get to the matter at hand: No Country for Old Men is the story of a drug deal gone awry and the fallout that ensues. That's a tidy little log line that doesn't come anywhere close to describing the chaos and dread that unfolds onscreen. Even people who have never seen the movie are most likely aware of the most memorable thing in it: Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh, a dead-eyed sociopath with a weirdo haircut that kills people with, among other things, a Captive Bolt Pistol. Chigurh is the stuff of nightmares; he would not be out of place in a straight-up horror movie. He is a reptile in a human suit, and he is absolutely mesmerizing to watch. But he is just one piece of the bloody puzzle that is No Country. There are also inspired performances from Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Kelly MacDonald, and Woody Harrelson, not to mention the supremely talented supporting cast. In addition to the cast, the Coen Brothers relied on esteemed cinematographer Roger Deakins to saturate the landscapes of Texas with sepia tones and tension. Working with natural light for the daytime scenes and brooding shadows in the night scenes, Deakins brings a strong sense of film noir to the story, which makes perfect sense for a tale this bleak and pessimistic. Not many beers can compete with a movie with such a pedigree. Thankfully, we have Stone Brewing around to bring us the sadistic Crime. You know Stone founder Greg Koch has a mind as dark as Cormac McCarthy's when he comes up with something like this. A blend of Arrogant Bastard Ale, Double Bastard Ale, and Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale, each aged in their own Kentucky bourbon barrels, with criminal amounts of serrano, jalapeño, and who-knows what other chile peppers added to up the ante even more. The result is not for the faint of heart. It's a beer made for the masochist in all of us. It all starts with a blast of hops, which then mellows into a nice, rich bourbon flavor, and finishes with a peppery heat that is downright incendiary. This beer is as challenging to drink as No Country is to watch, making it one of the few beers in existence that can stand up to such a masterpiece of visual flair and complex storytelling. This pairing does, however, come with a couple of conditions. For one thing, Crime is not what you would call "readily available". Many times it comes as a shared case with its companion beer, Punishment. Meaning that if a store gets any of these beers, they only get six bottles of each. Many don't even get that. So it can be a bit of a task to even find a bottle of Crime. And, if you do, you should be prepared to pay $20 for it. And again, if you make it that far, you still have to drink it, and that can be difficult in and of itself. So, in an attempt to offset the whole rigamarole of obtaining and drinking one of these limited, aggressively flavored beers, we are going to throw in a secondary pairing to last you through the rest of the movie and hopefully cool your mouth off a little. So, after you have seared your taste buds off with Crime, you're going to want to move on to a Lone Star. Or, rather, a series of consecutive Lone Stars. Called the "National Beer of Texas", because Texas isn't interested in your so-called facts, this American Lager will be perfectly flavorless after the endurance contest that is Crime, allowing you to throw them back with abandon. That will help you deal with the morality (or lack thereof) and other adult issues being put forth in No Country for Old Men. And since the movie is largely set in Texas, drinking Lone Star keeps you on topic. So, in conclusion, this pairing is much more of a challenge than our usual pairings. But it is a highly rewarding challenge. One that will put you through the wringer both physically and emotionally, sure, but "adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with". There's a cute little quote from Thomas Carlyle to make you feel better about burning your taste buds off while simultaneously losing all faith in humanity. You're welcome.
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Movie Tagline: Man has made his match... Now it's his problem
Last time we promised to start pairing better movies. Whether you think we have succeeded or not largely depends on how you feel about grim, ambiguous, future-noir stories. While anyone who thinks Blade Runner is a worse movie than Double Team is clearly insane, there are a lot of people who seem to have an intense distaste for Ridley Scott's groundbreaking science fiction tale. It is probably a case of a movie getting so much positive attention that some kind of backlash is inevitable. Blade Runner was once voted the best science fiction film ever by a group of eminent scientists, after all. And when scientists like your science fiction movie, you know you're doing something right. They really are a fastidious group. What makes Blade Runner such a good movie is a combination of weighty philosophical questions coupled with its stunning visuals. The world that Deckard (Harrison Ford) leads us through is lived in. It is not slick or shiny, like so many other futuristic movies. Things here have a purpose. They have been used. You don't feel like you are peeking in on a different society; you feel like this is our world, in the future. And, in the future, things are just as screwed up as they are now. Replicants are self-aware android slaves with genetically shortened lifespans. "Blade Runners" are essentially bounty hunters tasked with killing, or "retiring", these replicants. It is always dark and rainy, even in Los Angeles. This darkness lends the story a noirish vibe, complete with a cynical protagonist, a femme fatale, and an overwhelming sense of fatalism. It's a lot of fun. When watching such a heavy movie, you might feel compelled to go with a heavy beer. Something dark and complex to match the mood of the movie. Like a Parabola, or a Narwhal. But that would be overkill. Blade Runner is not a fast-paced thrill ride; it is brooding and methodical. If you drink a 12% beer while watching it you are liable to either fall asleep or get distracted and not pay attention to what is happening onscreen. No, you need something to combat the dark nature of this one. Something light and crisp, but with enough complexity to match the movie. That's why we are recommending the flagship beer from Crane Brewing out of Raytown, Missouri. A crisp, dry saison with a lot of flavor and a refreshing finish, this beer is the perfect companion to such a pessimistic movie. Really, any Crane beer would suffice, as they only make lighter styles of beer, focusing on wild yeast and tart flavors. A big part of what they do revolves around taking classic European styles and experimenting with a variety of hops, wild yeast, souring bacteria, wood-aging, spices, fruit, and specialty malt. As we've already noted, a big part of Blade Runner's legacy lies in its visual style. This is also true of Crane's labels. Deceptively simple, their labels manage to stand out in a sea of other beer labels. With big, bold shapes and crisp lines, they are the very definition of less-is-more. They have a thing for origami, too, just like Gaff (Edward James Olmos) in Blade Runner. And that's just their labels. Inside the bottle is a beauty of an entirely different kind. From the bright straw-colored Saison, to the cloudy gold Apricot Weiss, to the red-hued Beet Weiss, Crane's beers are a delight to behold. Like Ridley Scott did with film noir and science fiction in Blade Runner, Crane Brewing is taking the best parts of traditional rustic European ale styles and making them feel new again by infusing them with new ingredients and fresh ideas. They may not seem like the most logical things to pair, Blade Runner and Crane Saison, but unless you're some kind of sociopathic replicant android, we think you will be pleasantly surprised. And, hey, if you are a sociopathic replicant android, do you want to hang out sometime?
Movie Tagline: You're either on their side... or in their way
For some reason, we've been pairing a lot of crappy movies lately. Gleaming the Cube, Black Sheep, Club Paradise, Dark Star; these are not movies of value. They are oddities and missteps. And while we hold out hope for finding the perfect beer to pair with The Room or Birdemic: Shock and Terror, we also know that we need to step up our game and start pairing movies that are actually good. Movies that have something to say, or are intellectually stimulating in some way. Movies that, at the very least, don't make you dumber for having watched them. Unfortunately, we aren't quite there yet, and today we are going to talk about Double Team. Not to be confused with Double Impact, the "Jean-Claude Van Damme plays twins" movie, Double Team is the one where JCVD and Dennis Rodman star as the titular double team, with Mickey Rourke rounding out the cast as villain and international terrorist, Stavros. And those are absolutely the only people who you will recognize from this one. To describe the "plot" would be an exercise in futility. Suffice it to say, this is a ridiculous movie. Between fireproof Coke machines, Dennis Rodman's basketball puns, and the tiger, it is difficult to say which part is the most ridiculous. But there is definitely a sick thrill to be had in watching Dennis Rodman try to be an actor, even a goofy action movie actor. He was a solid basketball player, a middling professional wrestler, and a terrible actor. It may seem wrong to refer to him in the past tense, but the only things he has done of note lately have been endorsing Donald Drumpf for president and supposedly befriending North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. With that kind of career trajectory, past tense is more than appropriate. Thankfully, we have not chosen our beer because of its similar quality to Double Team. No, we have chosen Schlafly Double Bean Blonde because it brings together a different kind of dynamic duo: coffee and chocolate. After brewing this basic blonde ale, it is rested on cocoa nibs from Ghana. Then cold coffee from St. Louis-based Kaldi's Coffee is added to round it out. The Double Bean has the rich, full flavor of coffee and chocolate, but being a Blonde Ale it is still easy-drinking and light-bodied. Which is nice because that allows you to drink more beer faster. Which will come in handy when you are watching Double Team. We promise to do a good movie next time. |
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