Movie Tagline: You're either on their side... or in their way
For some reason, we've been pairing a lot of crappy movies lately. Gleaming the Cube, Black Sheep, Club Paradise, Dark Star; these are not movies of value. They are oddities and missteps. And while we hold out hope for finding the perfect beer to pair with The Room or Birdemic: Shock and Terror, we also know that we need to step up our game and start pairing movies that are actually good. Movies that have something to say, or are intellectually stimulating in some way. Movies that, at the very least, don't make you dumber for having watched them. Unfortunately, we aren't quite there yet, and today we are going to talk about Double Team. Not to be confused with Double Impact, the "Jean-Claude Van Damme plays twins" movie, Double Team is the one where JCVD and Dennis Rodman star as the titular double team, with Mickey Rourke rounding out the cast as villain and international terrorist, Stavros. And those are absolutely the only people who you will recognize from this one. To describe the "plot" would be an exercise in futility. Suffice it to say, this is a ridiculous movie. Between fireproof Coke machines, Dennis Rodman's basketball puns, and the tiger, it is difficult to say which part is the most ridiculous. But there is definitely a sick thrill to be had in watching Dennis Rodman try to be an actor, even a goofy action movie actor. He was a solid basketball player, a middling professional wrestler, and a terrible actor. It may seem wrong to refer to him in the past tense, but the only things he has done of note lately have been endorsing Donald Drumpf for president and supposedly befriending North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. With that kind of career trajectory, past tense is more than appropriate. Thankfully, we have not chosen our beer because of its similar quality to Double Team. No, we have chosen Schlafly Double Bean Blonde because it brings together a different kind of dynamic duo: coffee and chocolate. After brewing this basic blonde ale, it is rested on cocoa nibs from Ghana. Then cold coffee from St. Louis-based Kaldi's Coffee is added to round it out. The Double Bean has the rich, full flavor of coffee and chocolate, but being a Blonde Ale it is still easy-drinking and light-bodied. Which is nice because that allows you to drink more beer faster. Which will come in handy when you are watching Double Team. We promise to do a good movie next time.
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